in her PRIME devastation

Mood: puzzled and depressed
Listening to: Happy (i wanna be happy) - squareheads

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in increment to school hopping w/ edward for our thesis.. school has brought nothing but misery to me this entire first week of the year... sigh... we've covered 3 out of the 20 interviews we're supposed to finish by end of January, waiting for 2 pending interviews and dealt with one painful rejection from our first attempt.

and if our teacher, ms. ***** isn't a the b*tchiest old hag there is, then i don't know who else is. i just spent my thursday evening and the entire morning of friday reviewing for my exam that day... and i still am not sure if i did well... grabe.. all that effort! makes me think tuloy that i should've just spent the whole night sleeping and whole morning making myself fab>> para kahit bagsak ako pretty ako di ba?

Friday evening i spent with my high school class from Assumption, section 3 2001 - da bomb! we had dinner at Misato, Metrowalk Ortigas. i was especially thrilled to see Margel, she was my barkada in highschool and i haven't seen her nor had any exchange with her for the longest time. the girl's and i are planning to go to this speed dating in White Plains in support of Michi's cause. :D

http://www.flickr.com/photos/sun_goddess/84307679/
Originally uploaded by sungoddess.

Section 3 '01 at Misato Metrowalk... 5 years after

I just saw the movie Prime. starring Meryl Streep, Uma Thurman, Bryan Greenberg. i highly recommend it. it's a romantic comedy about a newly-divorced woman, Thurman 37, falling in love with a young aspiring artist, Greenberg 23. Streep plays the role of a rather paranoid mother to Greenberg and simultaneously being the professional shrink to Streep-- imagine that you're a mom to a 23-year old son who's dating your newly-divorced patient... and she's talking about how they badabing badaboom! :D crazy fun!

*PRIME*

Sun Goddess Rating: ***** 5 Suns

believe it i could relate with the movie.. actually this is one of those bizarre moments that i find myself on the brink of tears watching a movie with a genre like this. i did say it is romantic comedy right? well frankly i could relate to it. i mean, i've dated several (and i mean several!) guys younger than myself--not as much as 14 years though. well anyway, going back to my point. it's tough when u date someone younger, you're bombarded with questions of their maturity, their sense of commitment, their financial capabilities [para sa nakaka gets.. shut up for ur own good!] and all other concerns; still you hang on with the hope that love can conquer barriers of every crappy kind... to that i can very well relate. i can also relate to the feeling of being so in love you couldn't give a damn if the world thinks otherwise... or so i think, or so i wish that's how i'm feeling. i feel so broken. i made a stupid mistake of placing emotions on the line (again!? -idiota!).. another situation i misconstrued and now i feel like i'm in this deep pit and my world is almost falling apart. now i'm starting to believe karma. what's gone around came around!
to add insult to injury.. my random media player skips out of my happy beach music and plays The Tower by Vienna Teng. (c/0 Carlo).. so i go from Ms. Pina Colada to the pathetic "flower trying to bloom in snow" in a matter of days.. *heavy sigh...*

The Tower

by Vienna Teng

the one who survives by making the lives
of others worthwhile
she's coming apart
right before my eyes
the one who depends on the services she renders
to those who come knocking
she's seeing too clearly what she can't be
what understanding defies

she says I need not to need
or else a love with intuition
someone who reaches out to my weakness and won't let go
I need not to need
I've always been the tower
but now I feel like I'm the flower trying to bloom in snow

she turns out the light anticipating night falling
tenderly around her
and watches the dusk
the words won't come
she carries the act so convincingly the fact is
sometimes she believes it
that she can be happy the way things are
be happy with the things she's done

reach out
but hold back
where is safety
reach out
and hold back
where is the one who can change me
where is the one
the one
the one

reach out
but hold back
where is safety
reach out
and hold back
where is the one who can save me
where is the one
the one
the one

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so right now i'm drinking red horse alone under the pretense of an alternative source of mefanamic acid to alleviate period pains... but God knows how broken i'm feeling. :(