LOVE: then and now

Mood: Contemplative
Listening to: My heartbeat

I was playing 20 questions with Joev. It's a game where you shoot each other a question which the other person answers truthfully. It's a fun game because not only did I learn a lot of things about your "opponent", but I got to know myself better.

*Disclaimer: the names of the people involved have no influence to what my opinion says about them.... whether they like it or not.. they're part of my life.

QUESTION: Biggest Love Adventure?

My answer to this was of 2 parts... both involving one person. Nicco Yorobe. Now, a brief backgrounder. I met Nicco when I was on the rocks with my then-current relationship. First time I saw him, I fell in love with his strong, silent, mysterious aura. I was 18, naive. About a month after I broke up with Kenneth, I became closer to Nicco... and our adventure began.

THEN

Love adventure.... a few days into our whirl wind "quasirelationship" (for clarity sake: never naging kami, ok! ) November '04, we took my dad's car for a ride to have dinner with his family. I asked him to drive for me. And then somewhere along Quirino avenue, on our way to Roxas Blvd, we got caught by an MMDA for a traffic violation... it turns out, he doesn't have his license.. Yikes.. while the MMDA officer was on his way to our car.. we turned out the lights and sped through the night.. both of us were unfamiliar of the place then, so we couldn't find a dark alley where we could find temporary solitude while the traffic officer chased us. We finally needed to stop at a red light along Taft avenue when we saw a police motorcycle... i kept reciting... "walang gagalaw, walang gagalaw" as if not moving inside the car could actually conceal the vehicle amidst the traffic. but we didn't get caught.. whew... but the adrenaline rush was fantastic!

Our Second adventure is a little bit naughtier, mas maganda siguro kung hindi ko na lang ikkwento. But it involves another car (his adventure), a security guard and again, not getting caught. Being with Nicco was really a whirl! I was telling Joev how then I was young, adventurous, daring, with raging hormones. Nevertheless, my love for him was sincere and unadulterated. I never gave anything a second thought, i just did what my heart yearned to do. Thus making every fun more exciting and every heartache more tragic. But as I look back, I don't think I have regrets about loving him.

To Nicco, we might not have ended on a good note, still, I thank you for all the experiences, laughters and every moment that you made my heart skip a beat. I hope you find happiness.

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NOW

Once again, I'm in that state of being where my heart pounds out of my chest everytime I'm with somebody. But somethings have changed.. with me at least. Now, I'm more careful, more patient and more thoughtful of my actions. Perhaps brought about by my experiences, my heartaches, perhaps because of age.

I remember telling joev that I've changed now.. with how i deal with things, how i show my love. No more impulsive sidetrips, no more sneaking out late at night. My concept of love now is a deep connection of two hearts, an intercourse of the soul and a passionate way of showing affection --(uhm, before anybody reacts... this isn't a reference to sex ok?!) it's more of letting your eyes reflect what's inside you, burning to be expressed. It's about loving the other person despite of all his shortcomings and imperfection. It's about growing together. It's the overwhelming feeling when you kiss and tell each other how much you love the other. It's the moment you want to share with him when you receive a good news or when you feel most weak. It's about showing him who you truly are, with all your flaws, no pretensions. It's the honesty in your eyes that betray your words when you argue in anger. It's the feeling of fear when he's not around, of insecurity when a pretty face passes by, and comfort when he assures you that you are the most beautiful creation of God for him.

This is my current view of the absurd concept called love...

To you, thank you for showing me a different light of what love is all about. You may not be perfect... but I love you just the same.